


En'an'salen

by keita52



Series: Rose-Colored Glasses [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Families of Choice, Female Friendship, Fluff, Major Original Character(s), Post-Game(s), Post-Trespasser, Romance, Time Travel, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, background adoribull, background solavellan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-17
Updated: 2017-03-05
Packaged: 2018-08-22 22:18:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8303258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keita52/pseuds/keita52
Summary: Ilriane Ghilain is still struggling to come to terms with being stranded in the past, unable to ever go back to her own time. Luckily for her, Cullen is understanding and willing to help her work through that.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> As always, thanks and a shout-out to Fenxshiral for his [Project Elvhen](http://archiveofourown.org/series/229061), once again the source of the title for this fic.
> 
> En'an'salen = gifts, blessings
> 
> If you’re here looking for Cullen fluff, you’re in the right place, but you’ll understand Ilriane and where she's from a lot better if you read the first fic in this series.

Ilriane Ghilain sat on the wind-swept battlements of Skyhold, her sketchpad resting on the cold stone next to her.

Ever since her unexpected arrival at Skyhold, more than two hundred years before the day that she would be born, the battlements had been the one place that she could always find peace. She loved to come up here and sit, looking out over the snow-capped mountains.

Today, she had quietly slipped away from the impromptu celebration that had sprung up with the Ferelden messengers’ news to come up here. Part of her wanted to be left alone, and part of her wanted to be missed - to have someone come looking for her, as proof that they cared.

She felt weak for still craving validation from the people at Skyhold. She _knew_ she was useful. And she knew that nearly all of her friends here would tell her that it wasn’t her _usefulness_ they wanted.

Ilriane wiped the tears away from her face. She knew that she was just feeling sorry for herself, now, and that it wasn’t helping. She’d _mostly_ adjusted to her new life. To being stuck in the past, with no way for her to ever get back to her own time.

The wind caught at the edges of her sketchpad. The gust wasn’t strong enough to flip the cardboard cover, but she picked it up anyways. Of all the things that she had left from the year 12:38, this was the most precious, and she didn’t know what she would do if she lost it.

She laid her hands flat on top of it, resisting the urge to flip it open and gaze on her drawings of her family. Her mother, Kaila, as city-bred as they come; her father, Sounven Ghilain, who had been the proverbial wide-eyed Dalish boy when he’d first arrived at Denerim University. Ilriane had heard the tale of their first meeting what seemed like a hundred times. Sounven getting horribly lost on the first day of classes, trying to find someone to help him get back on track — and failing, because of the vallaslin on his face.

Ilriane closed her eyes. She could almost hear her father’s voice, telling the rest of the story. _“Kaila was the first one to stop when I asked her for help. She showed me where I needed to go, even though it made her late to one of her own classes. That whole first week she acted as a guide. How could I not fall in love with her, after that?”_

She heard the _clomp_ of boots on stone. Opening her eyes, she turned to see who it was that had come to find her.

Cullen Rutherford smiled at her, and she smiled back, as she always did. Cullen had helped her, that first week after she’d found out that she’d never go back to her own time. He understood the horror that she had been through before she tumbled through a one-way Eluvian into Skyhold. He’d been through worse. It was such a marvel to her — that after all the horrors of Kinloch and Kirkwall he could still be so gentle and kind.

A marvel, and a blessing.

Cullen sat and put his arm around her, pulling her close. Ilriane leaned into him, her head resting against his chest. She let out a long breath and felt some of her stress ease.

“I won’t ask how you are, because I can tell there’s something bothering you,” he said. “When you’re ready to talk about it, I’m here.”

And that was only one of the many reasons why she loved him.

Ilriane let out another long breath. “I just wasn’t expecting it,” she said. “When the news didn’t come right away, I put it out of my mind. I still haven’t gotten used to how long it takes to pass messages in this time.”

“The news … about Ferelden’s heir?” Cullen asked. She knew he was trying to figure out why _that_ was making her sad, making her miss her own time.

She nodded, turning her face to avoid rubbing against the fur lining of his coat. “I wrote a paper on him. Harald Theirin. I said it was quite obvious that he was named after the Hero of Ferelden, cited many sources documenting the deep friendship between King Alistair and Hareas Mahariel to back that claim up.”

Cullen laid one of his hands on top of her head, fingers gently combing through her hair. “Consider me convinced. I saw the two of them together during the Fifth Blight. I can well believe that Alistair would want to honor his best friend.”

Ilriane smiled. “I came across a lot of counterpoints that said the name wasn’t close enough.”

“And how did you refute that, Scholar Ghilain?”

Cullen’s teasing tone brushed away most of Ilriane’s anxiety. She turned her face up, meeting his gaze. “I said that he couldn't be too obvious about it, because the nobles would never stand for a Dalish name. I think I used some other arguments, but I can’t remember just now.”

“I’m amazed at how much you do remember about all of this, considering that we were just names in a book to you until recently,” Cullen said.

“Suinassa was kind of a hero to me,” Ilriane replied. She could feel her cheeks start to burn as she admitted it. Another thing that she thought she’d gotten past. “Without her… my father would never have been admitted to Denerim University. If he hadn’t gone there, he never would have met my mother.”

“And you never would have been born.”

Ilriane nodded. “She made my whole life possible. And now … now, she’s like a sister to me.” She shook her head. “Some days, I wake up and it feels like this is the dream.”

Cullen didn’t say anything for a few moments, just stroked her hair comfortingly. Ilriane closed her eyes again and took deep breaths, trying to banish the sorrow.

“So … was it just the reminder that you studied all of this in school, that upset you?” Cullen’s voice was gentle and helped take some of the edge off of the spike of anxiety that flared up at the mention of her earlier behavior.

“No.” Ilriane tried to steel herself for the next part. “It’s because Harald Theirin and I share a birthday.”

“Maker’s _breath_ , Ilriane, it was your birthday and you didn’t tell any of us?”

She winced. “I … I know. I should have. I just …”

“Ilriane.” Cullen shifted so that he was facing her and laid a hand against her cheek. “I know this has been hard for you. I can’t even imagine how it would feel to know that you could never see your family again.”

Ilriane made herself meet Cullen’s gaze instead of closing her eyes and letting the tears fall again. He was trying to help. The least she could do was give him her full attention.

“But you have to know that you belong here. That there are people here who love you.” He smiled when he said that, and she smiled back. She knew what he was saying. _I love you._ He could be so shy about stating it sometimes. He preferred to show her how he felt, and she didn’t mind that at all.

“You have a place here, Ilriane. A home. It can’t replace the one you lost. Nothing can.” Cullen took her hands in his. “But I hope it’s a home you can be happy in.”

She was crying again, but it didn’t matter, because Cullen was folding her into his arms. And being there really did feel like being home.


	2. Chapter 2

As fall turned to winter, the population of Skyhold increased.

At first, Ilriane couldn’t understand why these people would choose to spend winter somewhere so high in the mountains, so likely to experience bitter cold and deep snow — where they might be stuck until spring. She wasn’t used to the idea of “wintering” somewhere, having grown up with paved roads that could be plowed to allow for easier travel.

Then — after yet another new arrival was greeted so warmly by Suinassa — she understood, and wondered how she hadn’t seen it instantly.

Spending the winter at Skyhold meant spending it with people that were glad to see you, in a well-stocked and well-run fortress. Many of the former Inquisition members who had gone off to pursue other matters were returning, preparing to hole up for the next three or so months.

One of these new arrivals made a rather … impressive … entrance.

The sun was setting, and Ilriane had just finished dinner, when there was a loud _bang_ from the kitchens. A door slammed open and a figure covered in flour walked out. “No one told me _she_ would be coming back!” one of the cooks shouted, leaving a trail of flower as she stormed across the dining area. “ _Inquisitor!_ I told you that I simply _cannot_ work under these conditions!”

“‘Ey! Why’d you have to get all shouty-face?” A flour-covered head poked itself out from around the corner. “I was just trying to bake cookies for my Widdle.”

“Cookies, she says. _Bombs_ , I say!”

Suinassa came running out from Josephine’s office. Ilriane found it impossible to think of it as anything else, despite the fact that Josephine had returned to Antiva months ago and turned over most of her duties to Baron Edouard Desjardins. Ilriane liked him well enough, but she missed Josephine.

“What’s going on?”

“Inquisitor. I _protest_ this … this … “ The cook waved a hand at the other flour-covered figure.

“Red Jenny,” the newcomer put in.

“Sera,” Suinassa said, gently chiding, “what have I said about baking cookies for Dagna?”

Oh, so _this_ was Sera. Ilriane decided she wasn't really that surprised, given the entrance that she'd just made. The behavior fit with all of the Sera stories that Ilriane had heard, from Suinassa and countless others at Skyhold.

Sera gave a huge, gusty sigh. "Ask some 'un for help so's I don't—"

"Do exactly this," Suinassa finished. She shook her head and stepped forward, pulling Sera into a hug.

The protests from both Sera and the cook mingled together — Sera over the 'touchy-feely stuffs' and the cook over the fact that _the_ _Inquisitor_ was getting _flour_ all over herself. Ilriane watched, laughing, as Suinassa handled them both, smoothing over the indignation with such practiced ease that they couldn't help but accept her apology. The cook headed back into the kitchen to prepare an _actual_ batch of cookies, and Suinassa took charge of Sera, herding her gently out of the dining hall.

Ilriane stood up and moved to intercept them. Suinassa saw her, and, grinning, stayed where she was to let Ilriane join. "Sera, this is Ilriane Ghilain, a new member of the Inquisition," Suinassa said. "She's the one that's from the future."

"The future?" Sera peered at her intently. "Doesn't look like it."

"That's because I've been living here for a while now," Ilriane replied. "It's nice to meet you, Sera. I've heard a lot about you."

"Pfft, yeah," Sera replied. "Be weird if you hadn't. Inqy likes to talk up her friends." She tossed a mock glare Suinassa's way. "Which doesn't help those 'f us who prefer to go unnoticed."

"Has anyone outside of the Inquisition made the connection between you and Red Jenny — when you didn't want them to make that connection?" Suinassa asked, tilting her head and grinning.

Sera pouted. "You're no fun."

Suinassa laughed. "You say that, and then you include me in the next fun anyways."

"So, the future. That's weird, yeah?" Sera turned her attention to Ilriane without any warning, leaving her blinking for a second while she absorbed the abrupt change.

"Weird is one way to put it," Ilriane said dryly. "A really mild way."

Sera laughed, a nasal, high-pitched sound. "Yeah, Inqy does weird, like a million times better than everyone else," she said. "This place should'a been called _Weirdhold_. Or _Skyweird_."

"Weirdhold, I like that." Suinassa slung another arm around Sera's shoulder. "You want to get cleaned up before you see Dagna, or is she okay with flour?"

"As soon as I get my cookies, I'm headin' down to Undercroft." Sera looked back at the kitchens. "Wha's taking so long?"

"Good cookies take time. You _know_ ," Suinassa said, "if you'd give us warning, we could have cookies ready for you."

"Pffft. Where's the fun in that?"

"She's got a point," Ilriane said impishly.

Suinassa groaned. "Oh, not you too."

"Let's talk, future girl," Sera said, disengaging herself from Suinassa's embrace and walking over to Ilriane. "About how we can use that whatsit-knowledge of yours to help the Jennies."

"Foreknowledge?" Ilriane asked. Unlike many of the other instances where someone had tried to pick her brain about the future, her first reaction was not one of frustration. She knew that Sera's ultimate aim was to annoy the people that needed annoying, and help the people who needed helping, and she felt like she could get behind both of those ideals.

Sera grinned at her. "Yeah, that. C'mon, whatcha got for me?"

Ilriane laughed and started thinking about what she could offer up.

 

* * *

 

About a week after Sera arrived, Ilriane and Suinassa were talking in the library when an Inquisition messenger ran in, completely winded. "Inquisitor — the Chargers are back —"

Suinassa brightened, then narrowed her eyes at the messenger. "What've they done now?"

"They've got a Tevinter with them — a Magister, I think, and he's _very_ unhappy about the situation…"

"Take me there immediately," Suinassa said, rising and looking over at Ilriane. The Inquisitor's face had gone completely unreadable, and Ilriane felt a knot of dread in her stomach. What had the Iron Bull been thinking, taking a Tevinter prisoner?

The three of them walked out of the library and down to the front gates, where the Chargers stood, surrounding a Tevinter man with a staff on his back. As soon as he saw Suinassa, he threw his hands in the air. "Finally! Someone _civilized!_ "

Suinassa arched an eyebrow. Her expression was as carefully controlled as Ilriane had ever seen it. Ilriane didn't think that Suinassa _hated_ Tevinter. Most of the histories agreed that the Inquisitor had not held Tevinter as a whole responsible for the crimes committed by Magister Alexius and the Venatori.

Ilriane decided the best thing to do was to watch and see how it played out.

"You don't view the Iron Bull as civilized?" Suinassa asked,

"Well _of course_ not." The mage shoved forward, the Chargers controlling their expressions just as much as Suinassa herself was. Rocky actually looked like he was about to _laugh_. "He's _Qunari_ , my lady Inquisitor. Surely you know they're no better than savages."

"Watch your tongue, 'Vint," Bull growled.

"My lady, _please_." The mage reached Suinassa and knelt before her, his eyes wide and pleading. "I have _no_ idea why these brutes kidnapped me. I was merely minding my own business on vacation —"

"Right on the edge of Tevinter, which you _had_ to know left you vulnerable—"

" _What_ kind of world do we live in when brutish mercenaries can just _barge_ right in to a peaceful villa and brazenly _kidnap_ an _important_ _member_ of the Tevinter Magisterium?"

"If you were so important —"

"Stop," Suinassa said, her voice choking on the word. Ilriane turned to look at her and was shocked to see that she was _laughing_ , doubled over, clutching her stomach. Rocky joined her, then Stitches, and soon everyone in the courtyard was laughing. The newcomer had apparently gotten over his fit of thinking that Qunari were savages and was leaning on Bull to keep himself propped up.

"Damn, but that was fun," Bull said, his arm around the mage's back. "Sorry, Ilriane. Dorian came up with the idea on the way back and I couldn't say no."

"The big bad Qunari can't say no to the Tevinter mage," Dorian replied, and Ilriane finally caught on to his identity. _Dorian Pavus_. And that was _another_ salacious historical rumor confirmed, that Magister Pavus had had a secret lover, someone he'd met through the Inquisition.

Bull gave Dorian a shove. "Stop being smug and go introduce yourself."

"You like it when I'm smug," Dorian called over his shoulder as he walked over to Ilriane. "I do apologize for the deception. It's lovely to meet you, Ilriane Ghilain." He bowed to her with an elaborate flourish.

"Likewise," Ilriane said, failing to suppress her urge to laugh at the situation, the elaborate joke that had just been played on her. She wasn't offended in the slightest. "Are you also going to pump me for information about the future?"

"What would be the point? I'm never going to see it," Dorian replied.

"You're shameless," Suinassa accused, walking forward and wrapping him in a tight hug. "What are you doing here? I thought the Magisterium would keep you far too busy for us."

"Travel time is cut in half if I go with the Chargers instead of a formal escort," Dorian replied. "And I simply _had_ to see all of my favorite people again." He returned the hug, resting his head against her shoulder for a long moment.

"Well, I'm _very_ glad to see you again. Stay as long as you like." Suinassa released Dorian from the hug. "I'm sure the Chargers won't mind escorting you back."

Krem grinned. "Chief would have our hides if we refused. 'Sides, Dorian's okay for a 'Vint."

"Oh, high praise coming from you," Dorian said dryly, and everyone laughed.

"Right, then," Dorian said when the laughter died down. "The formalities have been taken care of, so that means it's time for me to enjoy the use of a proper bed." He turned to look at Bull. "Coming?"

"You bet your ass I am." Bull slipped one arm around Dorian's back and the other under his legs, lifting him off the floor in a bridal carry. Ilriane bit back a laugh, but the others had no such reservations; the courtyard erupted into laughter and raucous cheers. If it had been Ilriane being carried off in that manner, she'd have been blushing furiously and sure she would never live down the embarrassment — but Dorian seemed to be basking in the attention, letting his head fall back over Bull's arm and blowing a kiss as he was carted off.

"We'll see you next week, Chief!" Krem called.

"Anyone who disturbs me before then is fired," Bull replied, without turning to look back at any of them.

* * *

Ilriane had thought that Bull and Dorian were joking, but it really did take days before either of them was seen outside of Bull's room for more than a few minutes. She had to laugh at how unlikely the whole thing was —

Which seemed to be a good representation of the entire Inquisition. Unlikely, but wonderful; bringing people together who never would have met otherwise, and forging such strong bonds from those previously improbable encounters.

On the fifth day after Dorian's arrival, Suinassa spread the word that the Herald's Rest would be closed for the evening to allow all of the members of her "inner circle" currently in residence to enjoy a private gathering. Ilriane knew it was a diminished group — less than half of the group that had supported Suinassa during the height of the Inquisition.

But she was surprised to see two new faces when she and Cullen entered the Herald's Rest that evening. A tall, elegant dark-skinned woman with a shaved head, and a brawny man with a beard that looked like it had been growing for years.

The man stood and offered his hand to Cullen. "Commander."

"Rainier," Cullen replied, smiling as he shook the offered hand. "I didn't know you were coming. A pleasure."

Ilriane had gotten nervous at the sight of the newcomers, a reaction that she _thought_ she'd done a better job of suppressing. It didn't help that Rainier turned a puzzled glance on her, trying to figure out who she was. Cullen, Creators bless him, noticed her distress and put an arm around her waist, pulling her close. His warmth and solidness steadied her. "This is Ilriane Ghilain," Cullen said. "She's — well, she's from the future."

"Maker," Rainier said, frowning at her. Ilriane wondered why he didn't know about her. Then she finally placed him. He'd masqueraded as Warden Blackwall for the first portion of his time with the Inquisition, before being forced into revealing his true identity. If Ilriane remembered correctly, he should have been traveling the world, offering hope to those who needed it most. That would explain the lack of contact. "Just when I thought I'd seen everything."

"You should know better," the unfamiliar woman said, coming to join them. "Especially around our dear Suinassa. I'm Vivienne, darling. Grand Enchanter of the Reformed Circle. I expect you're utterly sick of answering the same questions over and over again, so I will spare you the stress of asking."

"Thank you," Ilriane replied, somewhat startled by Vivienne's compassion.

"Think nothing of it." Vivienne flashed a bright smile at her. "I expect that Suinassa can tell me most of what I would want to know. I may have specific questions later."

Ilriane returned her smile, feeling some of her anxiety melting away. "I think I can manage that."

"Excellent. Now, you _must_ tell me everything that's been going on here recently." Vivienne headed back to the table she'd been sitting at before, gesturing for Cullen and Ilriane to follow her. Ilriane noticed the Chargers taking up another table, with Cole, Maryden, and Dorian sitting with them. Sera dragged Dagna in a few minutes later, the pair of them beaming as they sat next to Rainier and struck up a lively conversation.

Suinassa was last to arrive. She didn't announce herself or make a fuss, but the room quieted anyways, everyone standing respectfully. A blush lit her face as she waved for them to sit down. "You're my friends," she said, half explanation and half protest. "You don't need to do that."

"Darling, as I told you a thousand times — you're the Inquisitor, a person of consequence," Vivienne told her, waving Suinassa over to the table Ilriane was sitting at. "You really should be used to it by now."

"An' the fact that she isn't is wut makes her a fabulous Inqy," Sera called.

Vivienne gave her an exaggerated smile. "We'll agree to disagree, as always."

"It's such a pleasant surprise to see so many of you here," Suinassa continued. "It's a gift I hadn't expected to receive. I know that Varric, Josephine, Leliana, and Cassandra would be here if they could."

"We'll raise a glass in their honor!" Bull did just that, and the rest of the room joined him, roaring and clinking glasses together.

"And even though I know it's going to embarrass her horribly, I want to recognize the newest member of this group, Ilriane Ghilain." Suinassa turned and gestured for Ilriane to stand. She did, doing her best to ignore the blush that was twin to the one Suinassa had worn earlier. "Her research expertise has been invaluable as we attempt to figure out the Eluvian network."

Glasses were raised and clinked together once more, the beaming faces of everyone else in the room only making her blush even more fiercely. And yet — she knew that this was helping to chase her lingering anxiety away, to help her feel less out of place among people who had, until recently, been figures out of history and legend to her. She was grateful to Suinassa for the gesture, even if she knew she would never be able to properly express that gratitude.

Cullen stood, squeezing her hand and bending to kiss her on the cheek. "I'm afraid I'm going to embarrass Ilriane further, and I hope she'll be able to forgive me. Eventually." He slid out from the bench, standing in front of her, taking her hands in his.

"I'd forgive you, Cullen!" Dorian's shout was met with more cheers and laughter.

Cullen blushed. Ilriane caught Dorian's eye and smiled, showing her gratitude for putting the pair of them on more equal footing.

"The rest of us can only imagine what it would feel like to be ripped away from our own time into a world that we barely recognize, full of strangers, with no way to get back," Cullen continued. "It would be easy to give into despair under those circumstances, but Ilriane didn't let that happen. She kept working, did her best to helpful and not a burden." His smile broadened, and the blush in Ilriane's cheeks started spreading throughout her entire body.

"Her courage and determination won us all over. I should say, myself most of all." Cullen released one of her hands and slipped it into his pocket. He pulled out a silver necklace, with a single charm dangling from it — a golden halla. Ilriane's breath caught in her throat. He unhooked the clasp at the ends of the necklace and placed it around her neck, before doing the clasp up again. When that was finished, he took her hands again, looking intently into her eyes. "Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

Ilriane's first thought was that she was frozen, that there was no way she could answer in front of _all these people_ , but her mouth had other ideas. Happiness bubbled up from somewhere deep inside her, a happiness that she hadn't thought it would be possible to feel again, not after her unexpected and violent displacement from her own time. That happiness, the feeling that she _really did_ belong here —

"Yes." She was grinning, tears starting to stream down her face as she kissed Cullen, hard, in front of everyone, barely hearing the raucous cheers and whistles that put the previous incidents that evening to shame. For the first time since she'd stepped through the Eluvian, she felt completely at peace. She had an exciting job that only she could do — the man she loved, friends who were more like family —

Ilriane Ghilain was home.


End file.
